Our final piece will round out with the O’Neill Cold Water Classic and finally the Pipeline Masters. Yewwww!!!!
Nov 2 – 12, 2012 – O’Neill Cold Water Classic – Santa Cruz, CA
In an event that may be new this year, many of the Top 34 have surfed in the event. The O’Neill Coldwater Classic was won in 2011 by Miguel Pupo. Tiago Pires finished in second with Jordy Smith and Willia(N) Cardosa rounding out the next two spots. Josh Kerr made in into the quarter finals in 2011 along with Dusty Payne. Raoni Monteiro and Adam Melling both worked their way into the semis. Look for a bunch of guys in the middle of the Top 34 to standout in this event as some top pros may just skip this event depending on where they’re sitting in points. Medina will shine once again showing the world that he can surf in any condition. Get used to it as he will destroy everyone in his path for the next 30 years!
OCC Final Heat: Medina vs. Logie with Travis putting Gabriel in time-out for most of the final heat. Inside vision I have is that an hour before the final heat, Travis will rub Icy-Hot on the inside of Medina’s wetsuit. The youthful Brazzo will spend most of his heat in tears while holding his balls. Logie wins the heat and a little personal satisfaction in taking the claim out of Medina.
Dec 8 – 20, 2012 – Billabong Pipe Masters – Oahu, Hawaii
Back at Pipe again. Seemed like we were just here a couple of weeks ago… In what proved to be a total mindfuck of an event, the 2011 Pipe Masters was filled with an late-night MMA event at the Billabong house, Lindsay Lohan blowing guys at the Volcom house to watch her purse and Kieren Perrow getting pushed through heats faster than an old man’s wet fart. And who says the ASP doesn’t take care of their own? 2012 Pipe will indeed be the John John show! Florence will flourish with both style and balls and tear Pipe to shreds. Medina will once again snake his way around the North Shore until someone finally yanks him back into line. Look for JOB in the quarters matching up against Slater for a true man-on-man surf-off. Lindsay Lohan will not be back to the North Shore but watch for Paris Hilton to work her way in for some sloppy seconds as she will try to get into Jordy Smith’s panties.
Pipe Final Heat: Florence vs. Medina for the 2012 pro surfing match-up of the century as John John continues his merciless punishment at Pipe. He not only destroys Gabriel at Pipe, sending the young Brazilian home never to make a claim again.
Final 2012 Prediction: Adam Melling will be crowned your 2012 World Champion without even winning an event!
Happy 2012 bitches! -RS
fucking racist
LoL at OCC final that’s the style I have been missing.
But are your picks serious or are you joking about Medina as well.
Keep up the burning icey-hotish humour!