Surfing with the Devil

Surf Legend - Charlie Manson

California is loaded with history when it comes to surfing and skateboarding. We all know that. Long before any of the Bra Boys served prison sentences and before Eddie Rothman got his first tattoo, Charlie Manson once was king of a local break.

I was banging around in California a couple of weeks ago. I went in to a little dive for some lunch and a couple of cold ones. I found myself a table in the corner and sat down. Well this ‘Old Salt’ must have seen the boards on top of my car when I pulled into the parking lot. Here he came with his drunken ass over to me. His name was Jerry ‘Too Nuts’ Briskle. He was totally shitfaced at 11:22am. My hero.

Jerry Briskle (TN): Hey bud. Can I join ya?
Rusty Steele (RS): Umm, join me in doing what?

TN: Having a couple of pops.
RS: You smell like you’ve already had a case of ‘pops’ Pop.

TN: Tell you what, I’ll tell you a surf story for say, three beers?
RS: Three beers? I’ll tell you what Pops, you can tell me a story for one beer. How’s that?

TN: Beer and a shot of Jack Daniels?
RS: Dad?

TN: What?
RS: Umm, never mind. Deal.

RS: What’s your ‘surf story’ man?
TN: You know Charlie Manson? You know that baddest man in the world? Some call him the devil.

Haggartys Point in Lunada Bay

RS: I know who he is but havent met him before. Do you know him Old Timer?
TN: Well hell yes I know him pudwhacker. I don’t make this shit up. Manson used to surf back in the 60′s down at Lunada Bay. They used to nickname that break ‘The Devil’s Den’.

RS: (laughing and almost shooting Bud Light out of my nose) Really? Manson was a surfer huh? Do tell.
TN: Charlie used to live in a tent up on the cliff and said that this land was his and that God gave it to him. That God expected him to protect it or make bad things happen to Charlie. Manson wasn’t on the same level as everyone else.

RS: Yeah, I’d say he was on a different floor than everyone else. I think his Zippo was out of fluid.
TN: Charlie used to ‘police’ that area like a madman. If you were not from around the area or didn’t know him personally, he would threaten to kill you. Shit that man used to paddle out with a .38 revolver in his pocket.

Non-Local Surfers being told to go home...

RS: A pistol? That shit won’t work after getting wet. What a joke…
TN: Son, if you’re surfing and this devil paddled up with a pistol and told you to get the fuck out of the water…. You’re gonna get out of the fucking water!

RS: Ok, ok. I’ll go along with that. So, what other trip was this guy on?
TN: Oh we think he was the first one to get Bunker Spreckels stoned. He also used to drop LSD and surf naked on Tuesdays.

RS: Tuesdays? What was special about Tuesdays?
TN: Charlie said he was born on a Tuesday and every Tuesday was his birthday.

RS: Strange. Well how good could Manson surf?
TN: He couldn’t. His board was a 7′ 7″ piece of shit that he stole one night. Charlie was only around 5′ 2″ or so. He couldn’t even stand up on the board. He would just paddle around all day on the thing.

RS: I can’t imagine Manson in a pair of old Hobie shorts and all walking around the beach. Just didn’t seem like his image.
TN: Hobies? Shit man, he didn’t wear that kind of shit. He would surf in jeans.

RS: Oh I see. Cut-off jeans? Makes sense.
TN: No pudwhacker. He wore full length jeans. Charlie was deadly afraid of jellyfish.

RS: (Beer making it’s way out of my nostrils) Wow! Really? The toughest, baddest mother fucker around is scared to death of jellyfish? Why is that?
TN: He was stung one time on his nutsack and said that was God punishing him for having sex with virgin women. After he was stung, he vowed to never fuck another virgin as long as he lived.

RS: Well then if he vowed not to do it anymore then he could wear shorts… Never mind. Anything else?
TN: Did you know he wrote the rock classic ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and played the guitar in the studio in place of an ill Jimmy Page?

RS: WAITRESS…. Shot of Jack please…. Make that three…

~RS