Which one of you limp dicks is next?

Whether or not Slater heads out on the new Rebel Trouser Trout Tour® he is approaching the end of the road. Yes, he can still fuckin surf with the best of them. But he is on his way out. He’s got other shit on his mind….

So who is going to step up? If the Rebel Trouser Trout Tour® starts to roll then look for the ASP and Brodie Carr to absolutely shit all over themselves. I mean like jalapeno tacos and beer all night kind of shitting. Like the kind of shit where you know that your ass is so raw that if you wipe one more time you will cry. Some call is pissing out of your ass but I don’t… Anyway, the ASP will lose some of it’s talent. Fanning isn’t going anywhere. He is positioning himself to be the ASP’s golden boy. I honestly think Parko is being written out of the script. There are probably some others as well.

Could Julian 'Slick Willie' Wilson be next?

Even if the Rebel Trouser Trout Tour® doesn’t start up, then who will be the next stars in the ASP? Some of the young talent that you here thrown around are guys like Julian ‘Slick Willie’ Wilson, Jordy ‘Fuckin’ Smith and Owen Wright.

Julian is like butter. He is a star and will continue to rise above the rest. He is special. And yes, I do get wood watching him surf. He carves waves up better than Jeffrey Dahmer carves up teenaged boys.

Is it Jordy 'Fuckin' Smith's Badass air supremecy?

Jordy has some bad ass talent. If you can just feed him his daily portion of nookie, he should be able to stay on track. Slater can show him the way. The Prince of Poontang, can be Jordy’s ‘Nookie Trainer’.

Maybe the future Slater will be Owen 'Stylin' Wright

Owen Wright is another who can surf like a bat out of hell. He possible could have won in Portugal but the ASP already had that script done. They want the drama of the Fucknutz Fanning vs. Parko at Pipe. The ASP can suck ass for all I care. That’s the best part of writing on this blog. DF said we only have three readers. So FUCK OFF to the ASP. You need fucking CPR.

Lost somewhere under this bevy of talent is Mick Fanning

Yes, those legs under that hottie….. That is definitely being ‘Down Under’! Eugene is my fucking hero. Fuck JOB, Fuck Machado. I want to party with that mutha fucker right there man….

Now we will leave all of you limperz with a little tune by the greatest musician in the world.

-RS

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