DEREK RIELLY: The Bob Guccione of Surfing
Most either love him or hate him. With some, just mention his name and a string of profanities will be tossed back. This includes pro surfers, surfing fans and industry insiders. If the crowd is walking north, you can bet STAB Magazine’s Derek Rielly will be walking south. DR has continued to keep surfing sexy. Some call him an innovator while others call him an instigator. Rielly is always ready to cause trouble.
I came across Derek (Not literally!) via the @whoisjob Jamie O’Brien twitter account while LikeBitchin.com’s Charlie Smith (@Chassysmith) was writing it. I was hooked right away. I’m a fan of anyone who has the fuck-off attitude. People who aren’t afraid to shake things up.
DR was cool enough to spare a little time and answer some of our questions. I told him that all 3 of our readers would be happy.
First off Derek, we ran a contest and the reader who won got to submit a question. Unfortunately for you, our winner was Steve Nug.
The Nug’s question is: “Mick and Joel are in a World title race but what we really want to know is which one would be most likely to let you toss his salad?”
DR: Under the present circumstances, I predict it would take 200 years to swing either man around. For most of us, our biggest frailties are sexual.
DF: We are huge fans of LikeBitchin.com and spread the word as much as we can. Can you tell us what the idea is behind it and what future it holds?
DR: It’s important to me that I should be free to express myself. There’s no comfort in the truth, pain is all you’ll find.
DF: Chas Smith aka The Charlie Smith. How did the two of you hook-up?
DR: We worked a truck stop together. I’d have contests with Charlie. We’d lie on our backs side by side on some motel bed, with our heads hanging, tilted back over the edge of the bed, til our mouths, esophagus, and throats would all line up. Then we’d put a carrot as deep as we could without gaging. We’d mark the carrot with our top teeth and after we’d see who was the better head giver. Charlie always won. “You win cause you’re older and bigger,” I told him once and he slapped me so hard I saw stars. He said, ‘Never call me old or big.’
DF: The haters are trying to work on Chas because he’s not writing what ‘they’ want. His style is different and I believe will grow on them as well. Personally, I think it is a refreshing change compared to the standard shit that is all over the net. What would you say to the current CS haters?
DR: I think they should remember that they will not be punished for their anger, but by their anger.
DF: If fisting was incorporated into the ASP’s scoring system, which Pro would benefit the most in the standings?
DR: People who fist each other fully and truly are the happiest people in the world. They may have little, they may have nothing, but they are happy people. Everything depends on how we fist one another.
DF: Hunter S. Thompson was once called “the most accurate and the least factual of any journalist”…. What are some of the more humorous things that you have been called?
DR: The usual, The King of Porn, The Sultan of Smut , Wonderland, Long John Silver.
DF: An English cleric named Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”… There are numerous Stab/LikeBitchin/PostSurf style websites popping up left and right as of late. (and yes, including ours) Do you take that as a compliment or just the opposite?
DR: We copied PostSurf and therefore cannot throw stones.
DF: If could bring one dead surfer back to life to surf with, who would you choose?
DR: Todd Chesser. We’re so lucky we had him. Good times.
-RS









SteveNug? Never heard of him. Outstanding interview.
[...] is tattooed in our asses. It’s German. It’s DR’s quote. And It says “There’s no comfort in truth, pain is all you’ll find“. And it hurt like hell! [...]