Cape Horn, Chile
Hermie 'The Hermit' Houser
XSA - 2009 Jizzon Chile Shootout
No lay days for this XSA event as promised by Samir Shoozien, XSA’s President and CEO. The smallest day was Tuesday and the waves were still overhead. Long endless sets rolled in one by one. The ocean was empty. There were no huge crowds on the shorelines. The surfers had zero distractions and were able to focus on each other.
The windswept Cape Horn is the southernmost point of the South American continent. The area supports a variety of birds including kelp geese, steamer ducks, and black-bowed albatross. Even on the smallest of days, the waves were incredible. The barrels seemed to go on forever.
Jimmy 'Streaker' Bronson
Putting on an unreal performance was The Streaker. Some have said that he may be the best natural surfer in the world. Air after air. Shown here on Wednesday. The Streaker dominated in the water during all four days. He broke two boards running his Air tricks on Monday.
No one surfs smoother than The Hermit shown getting caved in on Tuesday. He wasn't much of a showoff but he could ride the tube longer than many other surfers around. He was clocked in one tube for over 45 seconds.
DoJo Challenge
The Streaker may have dominated in the water, but got his ass beat down during the Dojo Challenge. The Hermit may not have been stellar on the waves but this guy sure could lay out an ass-whippin. During the Dojo, The Streaker tried three separate times to kick The Hermit in the groan but was blocked each and every time. The Hermit is adept at Rabbit Punching. He must of hit The Streaker over 50 times. He finished with a Rocky Balboa styled uppercut which knocked out The Streaker. “I beat him in the DoJo and won the money. That is what makes the XSA the greatest surfing organization in the world! Fuck the ASP! Fuck the Rebel Tour. Fuck ESPN. Fuck Good Morning America. Fuck Kelly Slater. Fuck Fox News. Fuck CNN. Fuck Sinad O’conner. Fuck Fergie. Fuck Van Camp Pork N Beans. Fuck Geraldo. Fuck You” said The Hermit
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We’ve had many emails come into the DemonFactory Craptastic site who were watching online as the DoJo unfolded. Here are a few of the responses…
*RadDude- Fantastic! Streakman can surf but damn if he can’t fight. Kind of girlish. Bwahahahaha
*Steve Nug- At first I thought I had accidentally clicked on the gay porn section on Youtube.
*Dante808- Damn, those dudes are fightin in boardshorts.
*Steve Nug- My grandfather once told me if you are going to fight make sure your gun is cocked and loaded. Or at the very least wear tight shorts with no less than twenty logos on them….
NOTE: The video is still in editing and should be up in the next couple of days. Thanks Fuckerz, RS!
And a special thank you to our Event Sponsor – Jizzon Sunscreen!
Let us put our Jizzon you today!
